I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
