This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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