Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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