what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
