i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
