After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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