i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
