girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
