There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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