so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
