Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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