tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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