I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
