it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
