its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
