do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
In other news, I just burned my penis
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
