I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
