I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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