get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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