He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
