whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
