You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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