Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
