I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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