when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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