Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
