At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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