I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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