It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
