I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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