YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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