I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
