Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
