This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
