a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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