My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
