do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
