You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
