Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
