hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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