And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
the raccoons are back...
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