those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
