oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
