that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
