Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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