Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
