She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
