There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
