I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
