I'll bet she douches with gravy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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