did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
