at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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