I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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