He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
