she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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